Narcissistic Abuse Therapy

Sandpoint, Coeur d’Alene, Post Falls, and throughout Idaho

Heal from Gaslighting, Emotional Abuse, and Chronic Self-Doubt

Have you ever found yourself wondering:

  • "Am I the problem?"

  • "Maybe I'm just too sensitive."

  • "Why do I keep second-guessing myself?"

  • "How did I lose confidence in my own judgment?"

Perhaps you constantly replay conversations in your head, questioning what really happened. Maybe you've been told you're overreacting, too emotional, or remembering things incorrectly. You find yourself apologizing when you haven't done anything wrong, walking on eggshells, or feeling emotionally exhausted from trying to keep the peace.

If this sounds familiar, you may be experiencing the effects of narcissistic abuse.

At Mountain River Therapy, I help women in Sandpoint, Idaho, heal from the lasting effects of narcissistic relationships through trauma therapy, Brainspotting, and EMDR therapy. You don't have to continue living in confusion, self-doubt, or emotional overwhelm. Healing is possible.

What Is Narcissistic Abuse?

Picture of a river surrounded by snowy, Rocky Mountains. Mountain River Therapy offers Brainspotting Therapy in Sandpoint Idaho. Mountain River Therapy also offers Trauma therapy for women in CDA Idaho.

Narcissistic abuse is a form of emotional and psychological abuse that occurs in relationships where one person consistently manipulates, controls, invalidates, or exploits another person.

Despite the name, a person does not need a formal diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder for the relationship to be harmful. What matters is the impact their behavior has on you.

Narcissistic abuse often leaves people feeling:

  • Confused

  • Anxious

  • Emotionally exhausted

  • Hypervigilant

  • Worthless

  • Never good enough

  • Disconnected from themselves

Over time, you may begin to distrust your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Many survivors describe it as:

"I felt like I was losing my mind."

Signs You May Be Experiencing Narcissistic Abuse

You Constantly Second-Guess Yourself

Woman leaning aganst a rock in the winter by a lake. Woman is connecting to nature after healing trauma with brainspotting therapy in Coeur d'Alene Idaho. Woman found a trauma therapist offering online therapy in idaho.

Many women don't immediately recognize emotional abuse because there are no visible bruises. Instead, the damage occurs internally.

Some common signs include:

You Constantly Second-Guess Yourself

You question your memory, decisions, and perceptions. You may find yourself asking friends or family if you're overreacting or imagining things.

You Feel Responsible for Everything

When problems arise, you automatically assume it's your fault and work harder to fix things.

You Walk on Eggshells

You carefully monitor your words, emotions, and behavior to avoid conflict or criticism.

You Have Lost Confidence in Yourself

You used to trust your instincts but now struggle to make even simple decisions.

You Feel Drained and Emotionally Exhausted

The relationship consumes your mental and emotional energy.

You Experience Anxiety or Hypervigilance

Your nervous system remains on high alert, constantly scanning for the next conflict, criticism, or emotional withdrawal.

You Keep Explaining Their Behavior Away

You find yourself making excuses for how they treat you or minimizing your own pain.

You No Longer Recognize Yourself

Many survivors say:

"I don't know who I am anymore."

Understanding these patterns can help you make sense of your experience.

  1. Gaslighting
    Gaslighting occurs when someone causes you to doubt your reality, memory, or perceptions.

    Examples include:

    • "That never happened."

    • "You're remembering it wrong."

    • "You're too sensitive."

    • "You're making a big deal out of nothing."

    Over time, gaslighting can make you distrust yourself and rely more heavily on the other person's version of reality.

  2. Emotional Manipulation
    Using guilt, shame, blame, or fear to control your behavior.

  3. Love Bombing
    Excessive affection, attention, or praise early in a relationship that later shifts into criticism or control.

  4. Silent Treatment
    Withholding communication or affection as a form of punishment.

  5. Criticism and Devaluation

    Making you feel inadequate, flawed, or responsible for the relationship problems.

Common Tactics Used in Narcissistic Abuse:

A picture of a snowy mountain hill side looking at more mountains in the distance. Brainspotting therapist Jarae Swanstrom offers online therapy in idaho. Jarae focuses on trauma therapy in her practice in Sandpoint Idaho.

If you've ever asked yourself, "Why can't I just leave?" please know there is nothing wrong with you.

You didn't stay because you're weak. You stayed because you loved someone and desperately wanted the relationship to work.

At the beginning of the relationship, you likely saw a different version of this person. Maybe they were charming, attentive, affectionate, or made you feel deeply loved and understood. You caught glimpses of the person you believed they could be, and every time they briefly returned to that version of themselves, it reignited your hope.

So you tried harder.

You became more understanding. More patient. More forgiving.

You learned to walk on eggshells, carefully choosing your words and monitoring your behavior to avoid conflict. You told yourself that if you could just explain things differently, love them enough, support them enough, or stop upsetting them, things would finally get better.

When they criticized you, blamed you, or denied your reality, you searched for ways to improve yourself. When they pulled away, you worked harder to reconnect. When they occasionally showed kindness, affection, or remorse, it felt like proof that the relationship could still be saved.

Over time, you may have stopped trusting your own instincts and started trusting their version of reality instead. You questioned your memory, your feelings, and your perceptions. You became so focused on keeping the relationship together that you lost sight of your own needs.

The hardest part is that you weren't just trying to leave a relationship. You were trying to let go of the hope that the person you fell in love with would finally become the person you always believed they could be.

This push-and-pull dynamic can have a profound impact on the nervous system. The cycle of emotional pain followed by moments of connection can create powerful attachment bonds that make leaving feel incredibly difficult—even when you know the relationship is hurting you.

What you're experiencing is not a lack of strength. It's often the result of chronic emotional manipulation, trauma, and a nervous system that has been working overtime to survive.

Why Is It So Hard to Leave a Narcissistic Relationship?

FAQs about Brainspoting Therapy

A picture of a snowy river in the mountains. Mountain River Therapy offer Brainspotting therapy in Post Falls Idaho. Mountain River Therapy specializes in online trauma therapy in Idaho.
  • Both Brainspotting therapy and EMDR therapy are effective for trauma, however, they take slightly different approaches:

    • EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy:
      EMDR follows a structured protocol where you process past traumatic experiences while identifying negative beliefs (like “I’m not good enough”) and replacing them with positive ones (like “I am worthy”). It’s a step-by-step process designed to desensitize the memory and reframe how you think and feel toward specific experiences.

    • Brainspotting therapy:
      Brainspotting is more intuitive and organic. It doesn’t rely on structured protocols or cognitive reframing. Instead, it focuses on the brain-body connection, allowing your brain to process what’s needed without analyzing or attaching specific beliefs to the experience. This can make it feel less overwhelming, especially if talking through details of your trauma feels too intense.

    If you’ve tried EMDR therapy and felt like it didn’t fit your needs, Brainspotting therapy might be a gentler alternative. It lets your brain lead the way, working at a pace that feels right for you, without the pressure of identifying or shifting specific thoughts. Both therapies are powerful tools for healing, but the best choice depends on what feels right for you and your journey.

  • Brainspotting therapy is gentle and effective. However, it’s important to know that, like any healing process, it can bring up strong emotions. This is completely normal and part of how your brain works through stuck feelings and memories.

    Some potential experiences during or after a session might include:

    • Feeling activated in the moment: A memory, emotion, or body sensation may surface and feel intense as your brain processes it. This can be uncomfortable but is temporary and a natural part of healing.

    • Heightened emotions after the session: You might feel more emotional or raw as your brain continues to process after the session has ended. This should only last for a few days after the session.

    • Physical sensations or fatigue: Processing deep emotions can leave you feeling tired or even physically drained for a short time. Poper self-care is helpful during this time.

    The good news is that these feelings don’t last, and they’re a sign your brain is doing the work it needs to heal. Throughout the process, I’ll be here to help you navigate these experiences comfortably and at your own pace. We’ll pause if anything feels too overwhelming and adjust the process to what feels manageable for you.

    Healing isn’t always easy, but Brainspotting therapy can help you move through the tough moments to find relief, peace, and a deeper connection to yourself.

  • A 50-minute Brainspotting session with me is $150.

    I know that cost can be an important factor in your decision-making, so I want to make sure you feel comfortable and confident about your investment in therapy. If you're unsure if Brainspotting is the right fit for you, I offer a free 15-minute consultation where we can talk about your needs and see if this approach will be helpful for you.

    Your healing journey is important, and I'm here to support you through every step.

  • It’s entirely up to you. You can talk during a Brainspotting session if it feels helpful, but you don’t have to. Many people find that staying quiet allows them to stay more connected to their emotions and the healing process.

    Brainspotting therapy is designed to meet you where you are, so there’s no pressure to explain or analyze what’s coming up. Sometimes words aren’t needed—your brain does the work naturally, even in silence.

    I’ll be here to support you, checking in as needed to make sure you feel calm, grounded, or neutral. Whether you want to share your thoughts, ask questions, or simply sit quietly, I’ll adapt the session to what feels best for you. It’s your space to heal in the way that works for you.

  • No, Brainspotting therapy is not like hypnosis. In Brainspotting, you’re fully awake, alert, and in control the entire time. There’s no trance or altered state involved.

    Instead, Brainspotting therapy works by using your natural ability to focus and process emotions. By identifying a “brainspot” through your gaze or eye position, we tap into your brain’s innate ability to heal and release what’s been stored. You remain present and aware, actively participating in the process.

    The difference is simple: hypnosis guides you into a different state of consciousness, while Brainspotting works with your brain and body just as they are. It’s a collaborative, grounded approach that allows healing to unfold naturally, at your own pace.

  • The time it takes to feel the effects of Brainspotting therapy varies for each person. Some clients notice shifts—like feeling lighter or more at ease—after just one session. For others, the changes may happen more gradually over several sessions.

    This depends on a few factors, including:

    • Your goals: Whether you’re working through deep trauma, emotional eating, or day-to-day stress, your goals will dictate the process.

    • How your brain processes: Everyone’s brain works differently. Some people process quickly, while others need more time for things to settle and shift.

    • The complexity of what you’re addressing: More deeply rooted issues or long-term challenges may take longer to unravel and heal.

    Brainspotting therapy is not about rushing to a solution—it’s about allowing your brain and body to heal at the pace that feels right for you.

  • Brainspotting therapy is a safe and effective, but like any healing process, it has potential challenges to be aware of:

    • Emotional Activation: During or after a session, you might feel more emotional, raw, or sensitive. This is a natural part of healing but can feel intense in the moment.

    • Feeling Tired: It’s common to feel mentally or physically drained after a session as your body releases tension and emotions. Rest and self-care can help.

    • Processing Takes Time: While some people feel relief quickly, others need several sessions to notice changes. It’s a process that unfolds at your brain’s pace.

    I’ll guide and support you through these experiences, checking in to make sure you feel grounded. Brainspotting can bring up strong emotions, but those moments are often where the most meaningful healing happens.

  • You might, and that’s okay. Crying is a natural way your body releases emotions, and it can be a part of the healing process. Brainspotting therapy helps you connect with feelings that might have been stuck or buried deep, so tears are often a sign that your brain is processing and letting go.

    That said, not everyone cries during Brainspotting, and that’s okay too. Each person’s experience is unique. Whether you cry, feel quiet, or process in other ways, there’s no right or wrong way to heal. I’ll be here to hold space for whatever comes up and make sure you feel supported throughout the session.

  • Yes, Brainspotting works just as effective in online sessions! During a virtual session, I will guide you through the same process we’d use in person. We’ll use your natural gaze or a pointer I am holding to find your “brainspots.”

    Brainspotting is all about your brain’s ability. So regardless, virtual or in person, you will experience the healing powers of brainspotting. Plus, being in the comfort of your own home can help you feel even more relaxed and safe during the process.

    I’ll ensure everything is set up smoothly and stay attuned to you throughout the session, creating a supportive space for your healing, no matter where you are.

  • While Brainspotting therapy isn’t a “cure” for anxiety, it can be incredibly helpful in managing and reducing its symptoms. Brainspotting helps by getting to the root causes of anxiety—often tied to past trauma, stress, or deep emotional pain.

    Through Brainspotting, your brain can process these underlying emotions and release the tension that’s contributing to your anxiety. This can help calm your nervous system, making it easier to feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

    Everyone’s journey with anxiety is different, so while Brainspotting therapy may not “cure” it, many people find relief and a greater sense of calm and peace as they work through their anxiety.

Brainspotting Therapy isn’t my only service at my Idaho online therapy practice. Other mental health services at Mountain River Therapy include EMDR Therapy, Trauma Therapy for Moms, Emotional Eating Therapy, and Therapy for Disordered Eating & Body Image. Contact me to learn more about how I can help you overcome disordered eating and body image struggles and reclaim your life!

Woman hiking on a snowy mountain looking off into the distance. Woman used Brainspotting therapy in Sandpoint Idaho to heal past trauma. Woman found a trauma therapist who offers online therapy in Idaho.

Questions before getting started? Get in touch.

You don’t have to live with the constant triggers, overthinking, and feeling on edge. My online therapy practice can help you heal your trauma, emotional eating, and negative body image and help you find peace with yourself.  Mountain River Therapy in Sandpoint, Coeur d’Alene, and Post Falls, Idaho specializes in helping women heal from trauma, disordered eating, and body image issues. To start your counseling journey, follow these simple steps:

Step 1

Contact Mountain River Therapy

Step 2

Meet with Jarae, a Brainspotting Therapist for an intake session.

Step 3

Rediscover the joy of feeling fully connected to yourself, your body, and those you love!