Why Do I Feel Like I’m Never Enough? Trauma Therapy for the Overwhelmed Mom
I See You, Mom.
You’re doing everything you can. Packing lunches. Driving to practices. Helping with homework. Smiling through the chaos. Working long hours or staying home and doing the invisible work no one talks about. You hold it all together for everyone else.
But inside, you still feel like you’re failing. Like, no matter how hard you try, it's not good enough.
Maybe you’re asking yourself: Why do I always feel like I’m falling short? Why can't I just feel proud of myself?
I want you to know: you are not alone. And it’s not your fault.
There are reasons you feel this way. And there is a path toward healing.
Trauma therapy can help!
Where Does the Feeling of "Never Enough" Come From?
Many of us first learned we weren’t "enough" as kids. We weren't born believing this; we were taught it, often by people who were struggling themselves.
Maybe your parents had very high expectations. Maybe they praised you when you achieved something—but criticized you when you didn't meet their standards.
Maybe your home was ruled by fear. An authoritarian parent might have demanded obedience over connection. Love may have felt like it had conditions.
Or maybe the emotions in your house were unstable. If a parent had unpredictable moods, you might have learned that no matter what you did, you couldn’t make things better. You may have started to believe that something was wrong with you.
Sometimes, parents focus heavily on image. Maybe yours wanted you to be "perfect" so others would see your family as successful. Maybe they pointed out every little mistake you made, no matter how hard you tried.
Over time, these childhood experiences teach us to doubt ourselves. We internalize the message: "If I just do more, be better, try harder, maybe I’ll be enough."
But no amount of doing or achieving fills that old wound.
How It Shows Up in Motherhood
Motherhood often brings these feelings roaring back.
You might:
Feel guilty for taking a break, even for a moment.
Set impossibly high standards for yourself.
Blame yourself when your child struggles or acts out.
Constantly compare yourself to "perfect" moms you see at your child’s school or on social media.
Give everything to your family and still feel like you're not doing enough.
You stay up late making the perfect cupcakes for the school party. You’re exhausted but proud. Then another mom brings homemade decorations, and instantly you feel like you didn’t do enough.
Or you spend the whole weekend taking your kids to activities, cleaning the house, and preparing meals. Still, when your child gets upset because you can't play a game with them, you feel like a terrible mom.
It’s exhausting. And heartbreaking.
And it’s not because you aren’t doing enough. It’s because you’re carrying an old story that says you aren't enough.
How to Start Breaking the Cycle
Healing doesn’t happen overnight. But with small, compassionate steps, you can begin to change the way you see yourself.
Here are some places to start:
1. Build Awareness
Notice when that "not enough" voice shows up.
Ask yourself: Whose voice is this? Is it truly mine, or something I learned?
Naming it helps loosen its grip.
2. Practice Self-Compassion
Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a close friend.
When you make a mistake, remind yourself: I am still worthy of love.
Celebrate small wins. They matter.
3. Prioritize Self-Care
Self-care isn't selfish; it's survival.
Even 10 minutes of breathing, stretching, or sitting in silence can be powerful.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
4. Set Boundaries
You don’t have to say "yes" to everything.
Protect your time and energy.
Boundaries are an act of love—for yourself and for your family.
Remember: Healing these deep wounds isn't about being a "perfect" mom. It's about becoming a whole human being.
How Trauma Therapy Helps You Heal
You don't have to do this alone.
Trauma therapies like Brainspotting are a powerful tool that helps you heal the root of these "never enough" feelings—not just manage them.
Brainspotting therapy works with the body’s physiology to help you access and release stored emotional pain without having to "talk it all out" if you don't want to.
When painful memories or beliefs are stuck, we often stay in "thinking mode," trying to figure everything out with our minds. But trauma isn't just stored in our thoughts. It's stored in our bodies.
Brainspotting helps you:
Tune into your body’s signals.
Release trauma stored in your body.
Heal without feeling overwhelmed.
Create new, healthier emotional patterns.
Trauma therapy also helps you:
Get out of "autopilot" survival mode.
Stop running from emotions or stuffing them down.
Learn to stay present with your feelings—without fear.
Build trust in yourself again.
Imagine not feeling paralyzed by guilt every time your child cries.
Imagine feeling proud of yourself—without needing to be perfect.
Imagine truly believing, deep in your bones: "I am enough."
Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey?
You deserve to feel at home in yourself.
If you're ready to stop carrying old wounds and start living the life you have been dreaming of, Brainspotting therapy might be what you need to heal from the inside out.
At Mountain River Therapy, I help overwhelmed moms and women break free from the "never enough" cycle. I offer a compassionate and nonjudgmental space where you can finally lay down the burdens you've been carrying for way too long.
You don’t have to be perfect to be worthy of healing. You just have to be willing to take the first step.
Ready to begin? I’d love to chat!
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation and let’s walk this path together.
You are enough.
And I’m here to help you believe it.
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Jarae Swanstrom is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor practicing online throughout Idaho. She believes in a holistic approach to therapy, focusing on healing the whole body. Jarae helps women heal trauma causing perfectionism, people-pleasing, and emotional eating. Learn more about Jarae or schedule a free consultation at mountainrivertherapy.com.
